after the war, the war between the armies of me I was crushed completely destroyed the only survivor: me and from this I emerged sullied in the blood of my desires sodden in the soot of the fires that burnt the fields of me, filthy from the business of self destruction god construction a dark lord with no subjects and thus I ruled secure with an iron hand over the vast emptiness of myself, an empire of death for many an aeon and one half of a lifetime in the darkness of my making the obstinacy of my solitude but all along, I must confess even unbeknownst to me I carried the seeds of desire the unquenchable, indestructible wanting that started the war and thus I failed having ultimately fought a war that couldn't be won and no recourse is now left for me but to allow the flowering of these yearnings to let these blossom to fruit producing the apple I am to offer to god [9 IV 2024]