So perfectly adorable, the little baby looking contented all wrapped up in his blanket of pink swordfishes (are there really pink swordfish?) ...sitting right next to a collection of Harper Diaper Totes. Convenience in a bag - yarn-dyed cotton with a waterproof polyester lining (how thoughtful) On the opposite page little Brianna measures herself on wall marks designed to tell a child's height Artfully rendered with butterflies fluttering about in pastel colours the work of a graphics designer (probably somewhere in Manhattan) The following page depicts a boy's room in nautical motif - bunk bed clad in marine blues a white little shelf to house a starfish - a toy sailboat, a couple of books on dolphins the walls bedecked with oars (painted in bright solid colours) the anchor of a shipwreck the silhouette of a shark I thumb through pages and pages of beautifully decorated children's bedrooms gazing at all the little smiling faces Blond curls carefully staged to frame the expression of excitement A darling little tyke reaching for an aeroplane A hundred images of comfort, care, belongingness - the basis for a happy childhood a healthy human being I imagine what it might have been like to be the solid ground for a little bundle of joy the stable datum in a turbulent world of growth the one to turn to that's always there (no matter what) What it might have been like to make a house affectionately furnished by Pottery Barn with bookshelves, sofas, hanging lamps PerfectlyPriced window shades and Sammy Stripe mats With a garden where my little one might have learned to love ants and watch orange trees blossom And a living room to listen together to Vivaldi and Bizet (as my father and I once did) To be everything to someone - surrender one's own value for the sake of another To find true love, in the gaze of own blood These things I have forsaken [30 IV 2011]