Life was never the same dad after you left you took something with you a certain anxiety I always carried about being good, excelling measuring up in your eyes you were my metric and when you left I had no way to measure progress, quality or direction my life became pleasant and rich, without your rigidity in the absence of your authority but I was alone, living in your house no longer could I think how you would have loved something only to proceed the thought with the realisation that you wouldn't have for you just didn't care about anything, in the end but I can understand how that came to be you weren't always like that I remember you jovial smiling, so full of life like I never was and may never be [16-V-24]